How did I not see this?

This post isn't going to be as much about India, as just a real life family moment (good wording Andrea!).

Some may know that we have enrolled our kids (not saying gender or names b/c we try to keep this blog sensitive) in school this past semester. Our oldest started mid-December. This has been an incredibly good experience and has provided a lot of help in settling in here. We are so thankful!

One problem has been another boy in the class that has severe behavioral issues. When I first began to hear about this, I really didn't think much about it b/c most boys here have pretty bad behavior b/c they grow up mainly in child centered homes and 'rule the roost' in many, many ways. This is a big part of the culture here, kids (especially boys) can hardly do any wrong and to correct them is just futile. Well, this has been a little difficult for us since we don't parent that way, but we have worked through it and it's not a big deal now.

So back to this boy in our oldest's class. Turns out he is diagnosed with ADHD and other issues. He yells out in class, curses all the time, and has been suspended 3 times for hurting other kids.

Well, Thursday our oldest came home with a big scratch from this boy. I was livid. That just crossed the line for me. If someone actually injures my child, I want to know that there were consequences! Now, mind you, our oldest is the one of the oldest and physically biggest ones in the class. It's not that hard to defend against this kid, but that day it just didn't go so well.

Realizing that no one from the school called me to tell me what happened and the teacher didn't meet me after school where I am at for pick up (which she knows I will be there) and there was no communication to me at all about this, I called the school and made an appointment to meet w/ the 'headmistress' at 8am the next morning. I just simply said that I needed a better understanding of what happened before I allow him/her back into the classroom. (I think my momma bear claws were out just a bit! whoops)

So we went the next day and met with her. Turns out it happened pretty much like I thought, no surprises there. We explained how we believe that this boy is extremely disruptive to the class and the teacher cannot be held responsible to deal with him plus the other 17 kids all day. That it seems a helper (which is very common here) in the classroom would make a significant difference for the boy, the teacher, and the class.

The Headmistress went on to explain that they are trying to determine if they are going to allow him to return for the next session (school year). They had not decided and they are taking everything the other parents say into consideration. Unfortunately, it was a little tough to 'reason' with her and get her to understand that we were not there to ask him to be expelled. We said over and over that we would like for him to have the opportunity to have a helper and see if that might be a way to be able to keep him in the school.

We left. I felt a little deflated because I just didn't feel like we were able to communicate our hearts effectively. It just seemed that she assumed we wanted him expelled and it was very hard to convince her otherwise!

After school we picked up our oldest and asked how the day went. He/She said that it went well and that he/she noticed some changes in this kid. We said, 'really?' and he/she said that he/she (I know this he/she stuff gets annoying, sorry!!!) said that he/she watched this kid for the first time and realized that lots of kids in the class pick on him and call him names. He/she said that if that happened to him/her then he/she would want to punch them too! (well, not good, but funny). So he/she told the kids to stop bothering this kid.

WOW!

Our kid stuck up for the underdog. I couldn't tell you how much I was bursting with pride at that moment. I know that you may think this should just be what he/she does all the time ... but really? We have a teenager here. No different than many other teenagers really. A great kid, but still hadn't seen life from anyone's eyes but his/her own ... until now.

I asked what this kid did after he/she said that. He/she said that the he said, "what you say, I do."

Amazing. This kid just wants a friend. As soon as our oldest stuck up for him, he responded in a positive way. And our oldest recognized that all by him/herself.

Again, bursting with pride.

So we had a long talk about how he/she is a leader in that class. That right now there's in an opportunity for influence and he/she has the ability to influence this kids life for eternity. We talked about how great it would be to see him in heaven one day!

Then I thought about my part. OH MY!

So now, our oldest is 'getting it'. But I went to the Headmistress and she thinks (well, hopefully not, but not sure we were able to get past her premature assumptions) that we want him expelled.

I had been studying Sarah this past week. What stuck out to me about her story this time when I read it, was how she took things into her own hands, before God's timing, and then made a huge mess of things for many many generations to come.

hmpf. That thought hit me like a ton of bricks, as I was sitting there talking to our oldest about the changes that day.

I know that God can work through situations despite me. He doesn't 'need' me, He wants me. He wants me to operate in His perfect will in each situation. Just really wondering if I did that here.

I am anxious to see how the day goes today between our oldest and this boy and praying fervently that it all works out someway, somehow.