Steak and a Song ...

So what did we do for our last night in the United States for 3 years?

Ate steak of course!



Our favorite place!

We decided (since we won't be eating steak in India!) that this would be a good 'last meal.'

Our family came ... we packed out a section at the restaurant. The kids played, everyone ate. Well, actually, I downed my steak and then didn't hardly touch my salad or potato ... just couldn't eat much. I was just wanting to talk to everyone more than eat.

After dinner we gave everyone a clock that is set to our time in India, with a note on it that says, "CALL US!" ... hopefully they will ... but not at 3am in the morning! hahaha

After dinner came the hard part. It was the last time we were going to see my sister and her family and our two nieces and a dear friend before we leave tomorrow. I tried to hold it in, to be strong, but ...



I couldn't. The tears wouldn't hold back.

I was thankful, though, that our oldest was not near me and he then went to Great Times so I was able to get myself together before he saw me again. I feel a huge responsibility to be strong for him during this time. I know it's hard and I don't want to act like it's not or say we should be emotional or cry, but I just know if I am falling apart, it's going to make it that much harder for him.

Honestly, I was quite a mess when I got in the car. I couldn't even really say goodbye to our little 1 year old niece, it would have just been too much right then. It's in my heart, that's what matters.

There is only one other time in my life that I remember being overcome with this kind of overwhelming sadness. It was when my dad was sick of cancer and he called me and told me he wanted me to come home to see him ... by him saying this he was saying that he knew he didn't have much longer to live. I knew that this was coming, but ... wow ... was it hard. We were in Florida, so we made airline arrangements for the next day which happened to be a Sunday. We went to Fellowship and a lady sang the song, "His Strength is Perfect." It was very powerful to me and really encouraged me as I took off to see my dad and that song has always stayed with me.

The funny thing, though, is that I have rarely heard that song played again anywhere! One time I asked for it to be played, so I heard it then, but otherwise I can count on one hand the times I have heard that song or seen the title over the last 13 years since I heard it that Sunday morning.

Back to present day ... after we said the goodbyes and I was a mess, we needed to get a last minute 'travel converter thing' at Best Buy. Before we left we decided to look at their CD's. We pick up one and guess what's listed on the back ...

you guessed it!

His Strength Is Perfect.

Those words truly JUMPED off of that CD cover at me ...

There I was, still very solemn and sad and just mixed up emotionally, wondering "why does being 1,000's of miles away from family have to be a part of this deal?" and hating how selfish I felt about leaving them ...

and then those words went right off of that cover and into my heart.



If someone would have asked me what I needed to feel better, I would have had no idea what to tell them ... really nothing could have at that point, in my mind, besides my family packing up and going with us.

But He knew.

He knew what I needed, more than I knew what I needed.

As soon as I saw those words, I felt this peace and assurance again. I knew He was speaking and reassuring me that He will take care of me.

I was so shocked. That is just the last thing that I expected to happen right there in that moment at Best Buy.

But that's how much we are loved by Him ... at our weakest He is the strongest.

Some may say, big deal ... it's just a song and a title on a plastic CD case, who cares? I understand that mentality. I know it may seem 'weird.' But this is having a real and personal relationship with our God, this is Him knowing me and me knowing Him. This is where and partly how I know He knows me, He is taking care of me. Thinking about this blows me away, because I definitely don't deserve it.

I just pray that others in our family and friends find this same kind of encouragement, that would mean a lot to me!